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Jun. 7th, 2006 12:32 pmI try to get other people's viewpoints, most of the time. I've been struggling with some people's assertion that gay marriage is a threat to the institution of marriage, and I'm not alone. Except maybe with the even trying. I see lots of jokes about how, 'Oh no! I can't stay married to you, a couple of guys in MA got hitched!'. I can't say I've seen anything pro-gay marriage sympathising about how threatened it makes some people feel. Granted, I don't read much more about it than the average newspaper reader.
I think I've got it though. I went through a similar sort of thing with polyamory (I think). To me, a big chunk of what marriage means is sexual and romantic monogamy. So here's these folks that throw that out the window and still say: 'I'm married' or even 'I'm married in a much better and more enlightened way than you pathetic drones of the puritanical patriarchy'. Exposure to these different ideas caused me to experience very VERY traumatic and squicking imaginings of my own spouse finding himself another love and wanting me to deal. The bedrock upon which my marriage rested crumbled beneath me. I found it all terribly painful and threatening. I got over it.
So anyway, maybe this is how it is for folks for whom a big chunk of marriage is that it's a divinely sanctioned pact between a man and a woman. If so, I can get it. And I really hope they get over it.
I think I've got it though. I went through a similar sort of thing with polyamory (I think). To me, a big chunk of what marriage means is sexual and romantic monogamy. So here's these folks that throw that out the window and still say: 'I'm married' or even 'I'm married in a much better and more enlightened way than you pathetic drones of the puritanical patriarchy'. Exposure to these different ideas caused me to experience very VERY traumatic and squicking imaginings of my own spouse finding himself another love and wanting me to deal. The bedrock upon which my marriage rested crumbled beneath me. I found it all terribly painful and threatening. I got over it.
So anyway, maybe this is how it is for folks for whom a big chunk of marriage is that it's a divinely sanctioned pact between a man and a woman. If so, I can get it. And I really hope they get over it.
