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Oct. 14th, 2002 11:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
botias
When I was in elementary school, my school bus was driven by an official pedophile. But I didn't find this out until rather later, except in the most immediate sense. He was very popular with the kids, the girls anyway. His name was Jerry Bean but they called him Jelly Bean and sat on his lap. If you sat in the front seat behind him he would let you reach your hand forward and flip the switch to open and close the door when the bus stopped. I wasn't one of his girls, but I thought this was a cool thing and one day I was in the front seat. Turns out, after you flipped the switch he got his payoff, he grabbed hold my hand and held it and stroked my fingers while he drove. I was confused and upset. This really didn't feel right to me and I didn't like it, but it wasn't really anything Wrong either. He was only touching my hand. I was afraid to pull my hand away, that would imply he was doing something Wrong. I never sat in the front seat again. Later I learned that many pedophiles operate this way. They start by doing small things, like stroking hair or hands that the kids often don't feel that they can complain about, and then slowly escalate it. Confused and frightened, the child doesn't know where to draw the line, or even how.
Tonight I had kind of a similar experience. My mom and I were cornered by a drunk guy at the local microbrewery. He wouldn't quit talking to us and he kept squeezing my mom's arm and shoulder. I was really uncomfortable, but I took her lead and just put up with him until he left. He seemed harmless and lonely, but if we moved to a different table or complained it would have implied that he was doing something Wrong, maybe it would have pissed him off. I find that the experience left me with the same sorts of feelings. In the future, I will get up and leave.
Earlier I was thinking about how self-defense is great, but most instructors insist that rule #1 is to avoid trouble. I would like my kids to know how to use a gun, and to learn some form of self-defense. I was trying to think what I would tell my kids about rule #1. I was thinking that avoiding drunkenness in one's self and others is an excellent and highly underrated place to start. Guess I wasn't taking my own advice, but I was thinking of the microbrewery as more of a restaurant than a bar. Don't think I will be going back there at night again.
Tonight I had kind of a similar experience. My mom and I were cornered by a drunk guy at the local microbrewery. He wouldn't quit talking to us and he kept squeezing my mom's arm and shoulder. I was really uncomfortable, but I took her lead and just put up with him until he left. He seemed harmless and lonely, but if we moved to a different table or complained it would have implied that he was doing something Wrong, maybe it would have pissed him off. I find that the experience left me with the same sorts of feelings. In the future, I will get up and leave.
Earlier I was thinking about how self-defense is great, but most instructors insist that rule #1 is to avoid trouble. I would like my kids to know how to use a gun, and to learn some form of self-defense. I was trying to think what I would tell my kids about rule #1. I was thinking that avoiding drunkenness in one's self and others is an excellent and highly underrated place to start. Guess I wasn't taking my own advice, but I was thinking of the microbrewery as more of a restaurant than a bar. Don't think I will be going back there at night again.
