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Reading Material:	The Consolations of Philosophy by Alain De Botton
	Fast Food Nation by Alain De Botton
	+ asst. romance novels and children's books

Hello little journal. I wish I had more time for you.

I turned 30. That was nice I guess. Mom volunteered to watch both kids so Alan and I went horseback riding. The redwoods were awe inspiring and all that and the horses smelled luscious, but the guides were probably the most entertaining part. They were very Humboldt County. Sis, the old warrior and Dotty the... dotty. At a rest stop Dotty showed us her fake cigarette. She's trying to quit, and the rather realistic looking cigarette is apparently designed to fulfil the need for something in the hand.

Alan's out of town this weekend. I was prepared for the weekend to be stressful. It started out that way. Alan managed to wake both kids on his way out the door at 5 a.m. and I was not terribly in charity with the situation. I would get Aidan asleep, only to have him woken again each time when potty and snack expeditions were required to settle Connor. But Mom picked up Connor on Saturday afternoon and things have been wonderfully peaceful since. I've been living on chocolate-chip oatmeal cookies, leisurely catching up on housework and reveling in the relative peace and quiet. It has been a very long month.

I learned something new though. I had discovered already that it is not so much the actual workload that renders me ill-tempered when things are particularly busy, heaven knows it's hardly above the capabilities of a healthy human, but anger and resentment that so much of the child/housework bits should fall to me. Don't I deserve to have some sleep? Ought I not have a moment to brush my teeth more than every three days? Where's my time to journalize, exercise, read trashy novels? (Aidan is currently being distracted by being allowed to destroy one of Alan's industry mags *smirk*) The wisdom of Seneca has shown me that I only need to adjust my thinking to make this anger and resentment go away. My resentment has been due to the fact that my expectations are not based in reality. Change my expectations, and the anger and frustration evaporate. Yes, sleep and personal time are still very nice and I hope to have some soon, but I have let go of the notion of that I am entitled to them and oddly enough, I feel much better. Where indeed is it so written?