Wall to Wall

[botias]

I loathe carpet. I despise it with every last ring-spun stain-resistant fiber of my being. It is a safe haven for the slippery products of nearly every bout of nausea, incontinence, or slip-up between cup and lip of kids and pets alike. They disappear into its pile like caravan robbers into the desert. Not even the most diligent efforts can truly clean out its dark recesses. Fleas and mold, damp and dander, I imagine them shooting off their automatic weapons into the air in welcome to one another, drinking round the campfire late into the night, secure from discovery and routing.

Why yes, I am rather strange Cut back? But I don't even drink coffee How are you?