Fic: Between Two Evils - Outtake
Aug. 5th, 2008 12:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
botiasChapter 6 is very close to being completed. Hopefully it won't stay that way for much longer. I get hung up on the sex stuff sometimes, and, well, there's a lot of sex in chapter 6. I do plan to get around to some plot sooner or later, honestly. In the meantime, here's the beginning of Chapter 5 as I originally wrote it. At the time, I thought it was important for him to actually get genuinely annoyed/angry with her, but now... maybe not. Also, it is OOC for Allura to run from Lotor unless she's also running to something.
Allura's legs worked better than her tongue; she scooted out of the bed opposite from him. His expression changed subtly at the first sign of retreat, eyes widening. He kept pace with her as she backed away; she glanced over her shoulder for the nearest exit even though she knew there was no escape.
He lunged.
Allura fled into the main room, putting one of the big pieces of furniture between them. She turned to see him come through the archway with an astonishing speed and silence. It was at once one of the most terrifying and most beautiful things she had ever seen.
Yellow gaze fixed on her, he vaulted over the divan like it wasn't even there. She fell back, bumped against a low table with a cry of surprise and dashed to one side, putting another piece of furniture between her and her pursuer.
As she backed away still further, she saw him reach out and catch a large vase just as it tipped off the edge of the table. He set it back in its place without taking his attention from her. “Best to take care, my sweet,” he said, as he started after her again. “Some of these pieces cost an arm and a leg...”
When she successfully evaded him for a third time, it was obvious that he was toying with her.
It wouldn't be the first time, but there was no one now who might come to her rescue—which meant there was no point in playing his cruel game. The next time he cut her off she stood her ground, her anger at his obvious enjoyment gaining ground on her fear.
She had conflicting urges to fly at him and from him as he came within reach. Then it was too late—he had her by the wrists and lifted her smoothly from her feet. At least she was able to glare at him face-to-face as she dangled from his hand like a garment he was considering.
The longer she dangled there the angrier she got. “If you're going to beat me, than do it!”
His amused expression deepened. “I find bruises terribly unattractive. How very fortunate for you.” He turned and started back toward the bedchamber. “Come along, Allura,” he said, as if her feet weren't still some distance from the floor.
She tensed at the sight of the rumpled bed, but he walked past it into the bathroom. He set her on the bench that ran along one side of the shower, and turned on the water. He gave her a speaking look and then turned his back to her.
“Fix it,” he said.
Allura's legs worked better than her tongue; she scooted out of the bed opposite from him. His expression changed subtly at the first sign of retreat, eyes widening. He kept pace with her as she backed away; she glanced over her shoulder for the nearest exit even though she knew there was no escape.
He lunged.
Allura fled into the main room, putting one of the big pieces of furniture between them. She turned to see him come through the archway with an astonishing speed and silence. It was at once one of the most terrifying and most beautiful things she had ever seen.
Yellow gaze fixed on her, he vaulted over the divan like it wasn't even there. She fell back, bumped against a low table with a cry of surprise and dashed to one side, putting another piece of furniture between her and her pursuer.
As she backed away still further, she saw him reach out and catch a large vase just as it tipped off the edge of the table. He set it back in its place without taking his attention from her. “Best to take care, my sweet,” he said, as he started after her again. “Some of these pieces cost an arm and a leg...”
When she successfully evaded him for a third time, it was obvious that he was toying with her.
It wouldn't be the first time, but there was no one now who might come to her rescue—which meant there was no point in playing his cruel game. The next time he cut her off she stood her ground, her anger at his obvious enjoyment gaining ground on her fear.
She had conflicting urges to fly at him and from him as he came within reach. Then it was too late—he had her by the wrists and lifted her smoothly from her feet. At least she was able to glare at him face-to-face as she dangled from his hand like a garment he was considering.
The longer she dangled there the angrier she got. “If you're going to beat me, than do it!”
His amused expression deepened. “I find bruises terribly unattractive. How very fortunate for you.” He turned and started back toward the bedchamber. “Come along, Allura,” he said, as if her feet weren't still some distance from the floor.
She tensed at the sight of the rumpled bed, but he walked past it into the bathroom. He set her on the bench that ran along one side of the shower, and turned on the water. He gave her a speaking look and then turned his back to her.
“Fix it,” he said.
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no subject
Date: 2008-08-05 08:10 pm (UTC)Yay more story. I've been looking forward for a while, hoping you hadn't lost interest with the piece.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-05 08:14 pm (UTC)Nope, I haven't lost interest. I'm a slow fic writer though. Partly, because it's very much a guilty pleasure for me, and partly because it's hard *whines*.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-05 08:24 pm (UTC)trust me, I know your woes.
*will possibly never finish second story because every section takes FORVEVER*
I can be patient and wait for you though. *nods* :)
no subject
Date: 2008-08-05 08:27 pm (UTC)Sorry you suffer the same way, but I'm glad you are still hanging in there.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-05 09:51 pm (UTC)I loved this description: ...he had her by the wrists and lifted her smoothly from her feet. At least she was able to glare at him face-to-face as she dangled from his hand like a garment he was considering. I can just see the grim, calculating look on his face.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-06 12:13 am (UTC)I'm working on it was we speak, so to speak.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-05 11:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-05 11:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-06 12:31 am (UTC)She had conflicting urges to fly at him and from him as he came within reach
That's what makes this story so much fun to read.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-06 01:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-06 04:35 pm (UTC)Can't wait for the next installment.
Evie
no subject
Date: 2008-08-06 04:50 pm (UTC)Lotor can believe whatever makes him feel better. >:)
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Date: 2008-08-08 01:26 am (UTC)I like her realizing he is just playing with her, and deciding not to let him have his fun anymore. You go Allura!
no subject
Date: 2008-08-08 02:04 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked that. I wanted to show her learning that that is how he plays and maybe she shouldn't take it too seriously.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-08 02:07 am (UTC)I really did like it! *gives you my stamp of approval.*
no subject
Date: 2017-04-20 07:29 pm (UTC)Update it sometime, please? Pretty, please? ^_^