(no subject)

Reading Material:	The Best American Essays by Stephen Jay Gould ed.
	+ asst. romance novels and children's books

I've caught up on my sleep which is good because Connor's teething seems to have reached some sort of crescendo. I've been observing my patience with him with a kind of weary wonder. But now he's peacefully asleep, as is Aidan. When I felt Connor's gums tonight I was astounded to discover that his two-year molars had both broken through on the bottom and one was pretty well erupted on top. I swear those weren't there a week ago. Hopefully, he'll be feeling better soon. Today he seems to have gotten his appetite back, perhaps his good humor will be returning next.

I got an exciting call from the new perinatal head at Mad River. Apparently she's very interested in getting my tubs approved for use at the hospital, unlike her predecessor, with whom the project perished in committee. This could result in a lot more business for me. Maybe help pay for the repairs to the projector, and the car, and the clock. I guess I must be feeling optimistic.

The intro by SJG was poignant. It sounds as though that was one of the last things he wrote. One of the most interesting essays so far was by a breast cancer 'survivor'. It addresses some studies I've been hearing about. The conclusions of which are that breast self-exams will make you more likely to endure a biopsies and tests, but they will not increase your chances of surviving breast cancer. Apparently, by the time the tumor is large enough for a person to find, the ones that are going to kill you have already had plenty of time to colonize your vital organs. Unfortunately, the same also appears to be true for routine mammograms. I kept Alan up late with half delirious babbling about rituals and magic and modern medicine and 'sappy' pink ribbons. My physical anthropology class was pretty lame, but the instructor did impart something about human nature that has struck me again and again. "Humans are goal oriented," he said. But the key point was that if humans do not have a real and practicable means to reach their goal, they will make something up. He was applying this to 'primitive cultures'. His particular example was some Pacific Island tribe that had no rituals surrounding fishing in the lagoon which was relatively safe, but elaborate rituals surrounding open ocean fishing which was relatively dangerous. There was nothing 'real' that could be done to ensure their 'goal' of having all their menfolk return safely, so they made something up. I feel that breast self-exams and mammograms are just such a ritual. My midwives exhorted me to do breast self-exams. I begin to get the feeling that that is what 'empowered' women do, perhaps right before they compose a monologue about their vagina. When I got a PAP smear a few days ago, the Nurse Practitioner gave me the same speech, but I was surprised, perhaps even a little dismayed at how quickly she shrugged and conceded that the effectiveness was controversial. Modern medicine -humans- simply cannot go empty handed. It is impossible for them to say: "Sorry, lots of women are dying of breast cancer these days, but we are powerless to do a thing about it."