(no subject)

[botias]

New Thing(s) I Learned:

Sowbugs and pillbugs are actually crustaceans, their nearest relatives are marine.

On Halloween night I was... buying potatoes and I noticed that they came from a farm in the Arcata bottoms, and I just thought that was really cool for some reason. It occurs to me belatedly that going door-to-door with a trick-or-treater can't be an exciting thing to do on a chilly October evening. Thanks Mom. We ran errands all day and then had dinner at Alan's grandmother's. Ginger and her on-again husband were there with their kids which tends to be depressing. It's kind of interesting to watch 'natural' parents in action. I get to see interesting behaviors like corporal punishment, and using the kids as a go-betweens in a argument, etc. As far as I can tell, parenting skills are pretty much like relationship skills in general. You treat your partner with respect, you don't let 'em walk all over you, you do your best to put yourself in their shoes and keep your cool even under provocation so you don't say or do things you'll regret, and you don't hit 'em. How spanking parents expect to teach their kids that a) they should never hit something smaller and weaker than they are, and that b) there's something really wrong when someone who's supposed to love you hits you, I do not know. But her kids, who were both sick, have given Connor a delightful cold. Please, please, don't let Alan come down with it. Driving test and client on Tuesday. I really want for him to pass that test.

Midwife appt. tomorrow. :P Alan's HIV results were negative. Big surprise there. I asked him to arrange for the results to be mailed, but they wouldn't. This made sense on further reflection, it is a deadly disease after all. It would be a bit like mailing the results of a biopsy. It seems like I got big overnight. It seems few weeks ago I was just showing, but now all the sudden I've got a belly and I there's not so much room in my stomach as there was. I feel like I'm doing maternity aerobics all the sudden now too. I really should walk or do machines instead, too bad they're so boring. For a few days after a workout I get pretty stiff in the hips if I sit for awhile, and I'm pretty sure that the style of exercise is a big part of the cause. I'll probably feel like that every day in 30 years or so.

Whenever I write in my journal these days I experience feelings of deja vu. Have I said all I that have to say? Am I one of those people that tells the same stories over and over? Wouldn't surprise me in the least. *sigh*

The gardening is going pretty well. The deer or deer that keep mowing my anise hyssop that I grew from seed all by myself (for some reason growing a perennial from seed makes me feel like a gardening stud), and my columbine are really making me mad. I dream of a future garden with raised beds and a fence. I've learned that basil and tomatoes may never grow all that well for me, but it's a welcome trade for the more mild climate. Alan has grown used to me muttering dorky things like: "Yesssss, I'm in the zooone!" while perusing seed catalogs. Climate Zone 9. Hee! [Frost] can't touch this!

Comments

[elynne.livejournal.com]

Yeah... the spanking thing is just... yeah. Interesting points on child-parent relationships being similar to spousal / signifigant other relationships; I hadn't thought of it like that, and that makes the idea quite a bit more bearable to me. I honestly think that there's some kind of "parent mistique" being pushed in society - that when you concieve a kid, that somehow gives you this mystical ability to be a parent, and to Know What's Best For Your Child. To me, a child is a person, and it bothers me when people treat children as - pets, objects, or idiots.

I don't know if Alan driving is a "yay" or a scary thought. ;) And wow, like, he doesn't have HIV? With all that ultra-risky behavior of his, like... uh... not doing drugs, and not having sex with lots of people, and... stuff? ;)

I like reading what you write. But I think I'm still the only person reading what you write. I am the target audience! Yay me! And I haven't had coffee yet! Yay incoherence! :D

[botias.livejournal.com]

It's been surprising to me how very much the same it really is. There is kind of a thing out there in some circles that parenting books are for sissies, (I'm guessing mostly people who think reading is for sissies) but I don't fall in with the notion that people are born with good relationship/parenting skills so to me there's no shame in it. I like to read a lot about what has worked for other people and adapt what feels right to me and throw the rest across the room. In the end, you still have your own parenting style, you can find books that advocate almost anything after all. I'm amazed when I see people telling their kids to shut up and that they are idiots, plenty of times in so many words and even more often by the tone of their voice. What do they think they are going to hear back when the kids are older? Would they stay in a relationship where they were treated that way or treat a partner that way? (Yah, some folks do *sigh*) This gives me a little different perspective on the people that like to blame everything they don't like about their life on their parents. When I think about it more in terms of a romantic relationship, I'm better able to see how a person might have some things to work through.

Yah, I keep telling Alan not to pick up those syringes off the side walk and jab them into his leg. I can't do a thing with him sometimes.

Thank you. I think I like it that way. I don't worry about TMI and stuff which I probably would if I had a wider audience. I should probably be more aware of TMI in my comments. :P

[elynne.livejournal.com]

Yah, I keep telling Alan not to pick up those syringes off the side walk and jab them into his leg. I can't do a thing with him sometimes.

You nearly got me to snort coffee out my nose onto the keyboard with that one. :D