There is no home for me in canon

[botias]

OK so you got this guy.  And you treated him really bad, and then he did something REALLY awful to you, ‘cause, well, he is bad.  But then he felt bad, and went to get his soul.

And you forgive him, and you help him out, save his life really, defend him to your family and friends, stand with him against overwhelming evidence, you let him know that he’s your hero, and Wind Beneath My Wings is playing in your head the whole time.  Finally you fricken hold hands with him even though he’s fricken on fire and standing in a fricken collapsing mouth of hell and, what the heck, you go ahead and say it out loud besides.  You love him.

And then he doesn’t call.  He doesn’t write.  Oh, but he has plenty of time for a nooner with his ex.  And so the verdict is in.  Now that he’s gotten his soul, made the changes, Spike is no longer ‘Hillside Strangler meets Hells Angel’ on the boyfriend scale.  The arrow is moving, it’s moving…  Ding, ding, ding!  Congratulations!  You’re now the ‘Guy That Doesn’t Call’.  Hello Parker!Spike.  Vast improvement I have to say.

  Now many folks contend that Spike was being self-sacrificing, not troubling Buffy with his bad self .  Or that he didn’t think she cared much one way or the other (when he was frickin on fire dammit.)  I’m fine with him not getting on the boat, so far as that goes.  But to not call or write? 

Setting aside the whole ‘I love you’ thing, if Spike could really look back on everything Buffy did for him in S7, going above and beyond and even against the call of her duty to give him a chance at a good life, and still think that it wasn’t extremely important to Buffy whether he was alive or dead, than that gives gives him the emotional intelligence of a one-celled organism.  I just can’t want Paramecium!Spike or Parker!Spike for Buffy.  To my mind… Spike’s wedding tackle shrunk 3 sizes that day.  And given Buffy’s trust issues, it’s hard for me to imagine her ever letting him in again.

I know the non-contact thing was largely dictated by external realities.  It’s pretty impossible to assume that if Spike wrote or called, that Buffy wouldn’t show up.  The Angel writers could have gone to the trouble of having them meet off-screen, but I doubt that the issue of whether Buffy, a non-character, would ever trust Spike, a secondary character, again was a big priority for them.

And so I just write off canon after Chosen.  And for post NFA fics?  I just suspend belief I guess.

Comments

[sweet-ali.livejournal.com]

I've seen all the arguments as to why Spike didn't call or contact her in some way. And for me what it comes down to is that the vampire was fucking terrified.

I don't buy the whole idea that he didn't think she cared. If that were so, he wouldn't have cared if Andrew told her that he saw him alive. And I always felt his excuse in saying she was better off and he couldn't top his exit reeked of vulnerability and fear.

I'm not saying it's a good reason or even all that excusable and I do love the post-NFA fics where Buffy hits first and screws him into the ground later, but... I see it in Spike, despite the swagger, that he was just terrified and he allowed everything that was going on with Angel and co. become his new mission, to be who he was. But i always felt that was still there for him.

[botias.livejournal.com]

I think the terror thing is an excellent possibility. But BtVS Spike was love's bitch not terror's bitch and I think a lot of us love that most about him. I think the writers had a role for AtS Spike and it just wasn't Buffy's romantic interest. *gives Spangel shippers a quelling look* I think that's the crux of it right there. There's a home for me, it's just not in canon.