What Broke Buffy

[botias]

It's not an uncommon opinion that Angel 'broke' Buffy.

I'm not sure I agree. I would have to go with losing her mom/becoming responsible for her sister, specifically a sister that was the brass ring for the bad guy. Family is Buffy's weakness, not her love life. Season 5 attacked her family and Buffy ended it catatonic, arguably suicidal, and ultimately dead. I don't think the Buffy that came back in Season 6 was really all that much worse off than the one that flung herself into the portal after telling Dawn that she thought the survivors were the ones who had it tough.

Where was the Angel brokenness? Buffy didn't seem to have much trouble trusting Angel again when he showed up, feral and nasty in season 3. She didn't seem to have much trouble trusting Spike way too much, or with giving him another shot when he showed up all insane and sniffly, or even when he was all fangy and minion-making. She tries and succeeds in reconnecting with her friends at the end of season 6 instead of, I don't know, whatever it is that people do when they can't function emotionally; I suspect it generally involves lots of isolation and self-medicating. Heck, she even reconnects with Riley, talks about her regrets about how they broke up, and they part as friends.

I think Buffy circled the wagons when her mom became seriously ill, and was certainly pretty broke by the end of Season 5. I honestly think she ended Season 7 not-broke, and don't think she was ever 'broken' from a specifically romantic standpoint. As much as the cookie dough speech was awkward, it's nevertheless an excellent point that not having it all figured out romantically and/or finding a good, long-term match by the age of 22 doesn't mean there is something wrong with Buffy. Indeed, plenty of folks rate their romantic success, not by the duration of their relationships, but whether they are still friends with their previous lovers. Buffy seems like she ended Season 7 with a pretty good score in that regard, especially given her unique challenges.

Comments

[zanthinegirl.livejournal.com]

Well said! I'm not convinced that Buffy "broke" so much as "grew up" in some very challenging circumstances. Sure, general Buffy at the end of season 7 isn't bouncy, peppy season 1 Buffy, but who really is the exactly the same at 22 at 15? I'd wonder about anyone who hasn't changed much over the course of those years!

And I've always like the cookie dough speech. I think it's good character development for Buffy to realize that she still needed to grow and mature. I certainly wasn't finished baking at that age, and I shudder to think of what might have happened if I'd married the guy I was dating at the time!

[botias.livejournal.com]

Yes, most people's taste in partners improves dramatically over the years. I don't know how many women have told me that their first husband/college bf was a belittling jerk. Which makes me wonder... do asshats over 30 have a much harder time getting dates than they did when they were 21?

I suppose most of us become better partners as well as getting choosier. I know I used to be a spoiled little Drama Princess, but I've matured, now I'm a Drama Queen, yay!